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10 May 2015 @ 06:13 pm
Meme (Crack Crossovers Time, Part Trois)  
Haha, never gonna stop. Don't wanna stop...

We're back to just 10 characters:
1. James Bond (Skyfall)
2. John Watson (Sherlock)
3. Joan Watson (Elementary)
4. Natasha Romanov (MCU)
5. Jack Harkness (Torchwood)
6. Maria Stark (MCU)
7. Cecil Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale)
8. Bucky Barnes (MCU)
9. Angie Martinelli (MCU)
10. Beverly Katz (Hannibal)

1. Out of all ten characters listed, which one is the most intelligent? Who is the dumbest?
This is tough as everyone on this list is pretty intelligent. I guess I'll say the most intelligent in terms of standard academia would be Maria Stark since she does hold a PhD. I'll say the least intelligent of this list is Cecil Palmer but it's a bit unfair since the educational system of Night Vale is really....uh, unique.

2.What is the worst crime 9 (Angie Martinelli) has ever committed?
She frequently throws extra food in her purse from the communal dinners at her ladies hotel.

3. 1 (James Bond) and 4 (Natasha Romanov) must fix a dinner together. How do they cooperate in the kitchen? What kind of food do they fix, if any at all?
They would make something simple and probably hearty. Maybe least amount of prep time with maximum amount of filling. I can see Natasha dictating the steps and Bond half following them by adding in some stuff of his own.

4. What channel (Disney, Discovery, National Geographic, et cetera) does 5 (Jack Harkness) watch the most?
I'm going to say the Syfy channel. He likes the really awful original films they do. He's seen Sharknado 17 times.

5. 7 (Cecil Palmer) and 3 (Joan Watson) are walking down a street at night when they hear 2 (John Watson) cry for help. What does 2 (John Watson) need help with, and will 7 (Cecil Palmer) and/or 3 (Joan Watson) help him?
John can very much take care of himself so if he's calling for help, it's likely because there are many people attacking him. Joan would dial the police and try to take down a few with fencing stick thing Sherlock's trained her with. Cecil would probably talk at the attackers and get them to a state of existential crisis and they'd just stop attacking. They also probably wouldn't try to move either because what is movement? What is jail? What is anything anymore?

6. Does 8 (Bucky Barnes) keep a clean room?
He probably cleans his place once a week. Routine is good and he didn't have much growing up that was just his so he'd take some pride in keeping everything neat and tidy.

7. 5 (Jack Harkness) and 10 (Beverly Katz) run a country together – what state is the country in, and how is it run?
Wow. Well, the country is either super duper safe from alien invasion or the aliens have already waged war on the entire world because of their country.

8. 6 (Maria Stark) may have possibly come into contact with a deadly disease, so she’s being quarantined. They’re allowed to bring something along with them – a book or video game - to keep them entertained. What would 6 (Maria Stark) bring?
The funny thing is that I'd semi-written a fic where Maria and her lab mate are quarantined after a project they were doing went south. The lab mate is someone who finds Maria attractive and is closer to her age so Howard was less than pleased about that and kept visiting. Anyway, Maria would probably take her notebooks to do some of her other work to pass the time.

9. 8 (Bucky Barnes) is kidnapped by 2 (John Watson) and forced to play a game of Scrabble or die – and if 8 (Bucky Barnes) loses, 2 (John Watson) will kill him. Who is likely to win the game of Scrabble, and if 8 (Bucky Barnes) loses, how does 2 (John Watson) kill him?
First of all, oh Bucky, seriously, kidnapped again?? Second of all, I laugh at the idea that John would participate in something like this. The consequences of not doing this would have to be something astronomically awful like Moriarty is threatening to blow up planet earth. And possibly in the hands of Moffat, John could get OC enough that this becomes plausible. Anyway, in terms of the game, I think Bucky and John are evenly matched in terms of intelligence but John might have an edge in that Scrabble was invented and gained popularity a bit past Bucky's time. So someone would have to explain the game to him and hopefully he can pick up the strategy. If he loses and John has to kill him, again I'll assume something catastrophic will happen if John doesn't, then John would probably pick a very humane means. Like a quick shot to the head or something to make him fall asleep first and then death.

10. What is 4’s (Natasha Romanov's) favorite time of day?
Early morning. She likes doing her exercises and early morning runs just as dawn approaches.

11. 4 (Natasha Romanov), 9 (Angie Martinelli), and 3 (Joan Watson) get snowed in while at a cabin in the mountains. They have one twin bed, two blankets, a few bottles of water, and a little bit of beef jerky. Who gets what? Who suffers the most while they wait out the storm?
They'd split it all evenly and take turns with the beds. Although, I can see Natasha saying she can survive at peak condition with less since she's accustomed to this. Angie might suffer the most physically but she'd never complain about it.

12. If 7 (Cecil Palmer) could steal anything – an object, a talent, or trait – from 6 (Maria Stark), what would it be?
It would probably be her ability to Science because then he'd be able to have so much more to talk to Carlos about. It would be quite something to be able to see the world through Science-ing eyes. He might be confused though since the way Maria Sciences and the way Carlos Sciences seem very, VERy different.

13. Of all the characters, who has the best hygiene?
I'll say Maria Stark as she probably has access to all the best shampoos, soaps, lotions, etc.

14. 1 (James Bond), 4 (Natasha Romanov), and 10 (Beverly Katz) are all staying the night in a haunted house. Who would be scared? Would any of them be skeptical? How does each of them sleep?
I think all three of them would be equal amounts of skeptical. In terms of scared, Beverly may be the most freaked out comparatively. Because even if this was just a crazy person doing all the weird things in the house, that's still a crazy person she has to deal with. Bond and Natasha would 100% not believe this place is haunted and spend most of their time trying to find the very human culprit to stop them. None of them would sleep until they got to the bottom of this.

15. What would be the worst possible job 1 (James Bond) could work?
Man, Bond would be awful at so many jobs. Ironic since he's trained to blend in anywhere. I would say that Bond would probably be the worst at being a college counselor. It would require him to tolerate a lot of complaining from students who just need to grow out of it while also offering genuine sympathy and reassurance to those in real distress. In other words, Bond would have be really good at people-ing and talking about feelings and I just don't see that.

16. 6 (Maria Stark), 8 (Bucky Barnes), and 9 (Angie Martinelli) must compete in a talent show. What do they do for their talent, and who would win?
Maria and Bucky would so not be on board with this. Maria would be all, "I'm a full time worker and mother. I don't have time for this." While Bucky would be like, "I didn't survive Hydra and decades of torture for this." But if they were forced, Maria's talent would be piano, Bucky's would be marksmanship, and Angie would win with her dramatic reading of a soliloquoy.

17. What is 2’s (John Watson's) biggest pet peeve?
When people use chatspeak. It's so annoying. Does it really take so much time to type it out? It takes him twice as long to decipher the chatspeak in the first place.

18. If 5 (Jack Harkness) won the lottery for 25 million dollars, what would he do with the money?
He'd probably find some way to use it to help someone, like fund a charity or build homes for people.

19. What was 10’s (Beverly Katz's) favorite toy growing up?
Her brother's Transformers.

20. Make up an e-mail address for 7 (Cecil Palmer).
voiceofnightvale@nighvaleradio.com. He inherited the email address when he took over for Leonard Burton. It'll eventually go to whoever takes over for Cecil.

21. If 8 (Bucky Barnes) had an iPod or some kind of music player, what kinds of songs would you find in it?
Probably a lot of songs from the 30s and 40s. And a lot of soothing instrumentals.

22. What would you do if 9 (Angie Martinelli) suddenly paid you a visit?
I'd invite her out to lunch and then we could take in a show.

23. Do you think 6 (Maria Stark) and 4 (Natasha Romanov) are made for each other?
Weirdly, I can sort of see this pairing working. But ultimately, Maria would worry too much about Natasha going on field missions. She was barely okay with the limited ones Howard did.

24. What subject would 1 (James Bond) teach if s/he were a teacher/professor? Would s/he be good at it?
Um. Maybe political science? Or gym. The most intense gym class anyone has ever taken in their lives.

25. 8 (Bucky Barnes) and 6 (Maria Stark) go on their first date. Where would they go, and what would they do?
Okay, this is a bizarre one given the role Bucky had in Maria's untimely demise. But if we operate in some AU world where they do go out, they'd go to the Natural History Museum and then dinner. And maybe dancing later.

26. 1 (James Bond) receives a gift from 9 (Angie Martinelli). Does s/he open it or not? If so, what is inside?
He'd open it. It's probably food. Like a delicious pie. And a typically sassy note to accompany it which would probably make Bond smile a bit.

27. 4 (Natasha Romanov) is walking home when s/he sees a cute fluffy creature, which promptly begins rubbing itself against his/her legs. Will s/he kick it away, or take it home?
Despite her image, Natasha would totally take it in.

28. 5 (Jack Harkness) is dared by 4 (Natasha Romanov) to strip while pole-dancing in front of 2 (John Watson). Write a short dialogue about this.
Jack: Yes! I've been waiting years for someone to challenge me to this! Throw on the music. I'm doing this to Taylor Swift's Shake It Off!
Natasha: Not JLo's Booty?
Jack: Hm. Tough call. I'll just do it twice. You can let me know which one was better.
John: I really just came in here to grab some lunch.

29. What smiley/emoticon would best describe 7 (Cecil Palmer)?
I kept trying to type it but every time I did, it came to life and floated away from my laptop screen.

30. If you had the chance to rewrite 6's (Maria Stark's) life, how would you change it?
I may have made it so that she wasn't in that car with Howard.
Tags:
 
 
 
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 11th, 2015 02:32 am (UTC)
See, even these memes are shipping Bond and Angie. It's totally meant to be!

Despite her image, Natasha would totally take it in.

And give it to Steve, presumably, to add to his collection of rescue dogs.

The lab mate is someone who finds Maria attractive and is closer to her age so Howard was less than pleased about that and kept visiting.

Is this before or after they start dating? Because I can see Howard coming down there and asserting dominance by making it very clear that he and Maria are totally dating, young man, and don't try anything. And if they aren't dating, still making it pretty clear trying anything is not an option.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 11th, 2015 03:03 am (UTC)
See, even these memes are shipping Bond and Angie. It's totally meant to be!

If I do anymore of these, the situations posited by the memes alone will make up a ficlet about Bond and Angie dating.

And give it to Steve, presumably, to add to his collection of rescue dogs.

That would initially be the reason why Natasha might take in the cat but in the end she'll keep her.

Steve: Hey, girl. Who's a pretty cat?
Natasha: Hands off, Rogers.

Is this before or after they start dating?

It would be just after so Howard has nothing to worry about but he can't help it. Especially since Augustin is younger and around Maria every day.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 11th, 2015 03:16 am (UTC)
If I do anymore of these, the situations posited by the memes alone will make up a ficlet about Bond and Angie dating.

I'm getting the same thing with Howard and Harry Dresden teaming up together on stuff.

It would be just after so Howard has nothing to worry about but he can't help it. Especially since Augustin is younger and around Maria every day.

I wonder if Howard often finds himself jealous when it comes to women, or if it's a new sensation? I can only see him being jealous if he cares about losing the girl, and I can't see him ever really that worried about losing the girl before Maria.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 11th, 2015 03:37 am (UTC)
I wonder if Howard often finds himself jealous when it comes to women, or if it's a new sensation? I can only see him being jealous if he cares about losing the girl, and I can't see him ever really that worried about losing the girl before Maria.

It's totally a new sensation for Howard. I almost see him completely perplexed why he's so anxious about Maria running off with some kid who doesn't have two pennies to rub together.

Jarvis: Dr. Carrera is a woman of impeccable taste and sensibility.
Howard: Exactly. Right. So no need for concern on my end.
Jarvis: And her taste would account for why she has selected Dr. Reyes to join her lab who despite his financial troubles boasts a rather impressive-
Howard: You're fired, Jarvis.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 11th, 2015 04:07 am (UTC)
Howard: You're fired, Jarvis.

Howard: Take this mass spectrometer as severance.
Jarvis: Thank you, sir, I'll just bring the car around for it.

One of the things I have when Howard is on his first date with Maria that he's trying to make normal is that Jarvis is setting it up like every other date Howard's been on for the last 25 years, and Howard keeps getting mad at him for it.

Howard: Why are there roses?
Jarvis: You always ask for roses on the table, sir.
Howard: I don't want roses! Get something else!
Jarvis: Yes, sir. Does Miss Carrera have a preferred flower?
Howard: How am I supposed to know?!
Jarvis: I'm sorry for being obtuse, sir. I've booked a table at--
Howard: I don't want to eat there!
Jarvis: Where would you like to eat, then?
Howard: I don't know, somewhere she'll like.
Jarvis: I don't suppose you might know where that would be?
Howard: Not a damned clue.
Jarvis: Very good, sir, I'll get right on it.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 11th, 2015 04:27 am (UTC)
I love that Jarvis doesn't even blink. He just rolls with it.

Also, Howard is 7.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 11th, 2015 04:36 am (UTC)
I love that Jarvis doesn't even blink. He just rolls with it.

After this long, I'm sure he's used to Mr Stark's whims. One of the things in my First Days fic is Jarvis trying to get used to the fact that Howard doesn't have much of a schedule. Jarvis has had it drilled into him that a servant is supposed to anticipate his master's needs and Jarvis has no fucking clue what Howard Stark might want at any given moment of the day. I'm sure it gets better in time, but at the beginning Jarvis feels rather inadequate, and isn't helped by the fact that Howard doesn't know how to have a butler and keeps doing the things Jarvis thinks he should be doing.