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09 July 2014 @ 11:50 pm
Film Review: The Apparition  
The movie where Bucky Barnes, Alice Cullen, and Draco Malfoy battle...something.

This was a strange film. Not because strange things happened in it but my response to it was strange.

The basic plot is about a young couple, Ben (Sebastian Stan) and Kelly (Ashley Greene) who move into a new home together. Soon after they settle in, strange things begin happening in the house (e.g. weird mold-like growth in the walls; a dog dies just sitting in their kitchen). Around this time, Ben keeps getting increasingly frantic emails from Patrick (Tom Felton) about needing to talk to him ASAP that Ben suspiciously continues to ignore. As things begin to escalate (sort of?) in their house, Ben and Kelly realize they're being haunted by something.

Okay, that's about the basic plot. I could tell you more but I fear I may take away what little suspense this movie has going for it. There's no massive twist but this movie does withhold some information that is arguably the best plot point in the story. It's pretty clear to me that this movie is bad but not in the way, let's say, The Covenant is bad. That movie was unapologetically, over the top cheesily bad and I'm tempted to believe the actors purposefully turned in bad performances as a good performance might actually look weird. But The Apparition is just average bad. The pacing is slow, the threat level despite an animal dying feels incredibly minor. Even when shit really started to go down, I barely felt any sense of urgency for anyone.

What made this a strange film for me was that I found myself way more interested in watching Ben and Kelly set up their home. I actually found myself asking questions and paying attention while they shopped at Costco and unpacked their stuff. The house is technically Kelly's parents' house so where are they? Do they also live in Nowhere Desertsville? Did they also pay for the tons of furniture in that place? Why did Ben move from England to Nowhere Desertsville of all places? WHY IS KELLY SO OBSESSED WITH GETTING A SAGUARO FOR THE LAWN?? I'm not joking when I say these were the myriad of thoughts running through my mind as I watched this part of the movie. Where I actually got bored was when the 'scary' stuff started happening. This is probably the first time a depiction of domesticity in a movie had me engaged but a terrorizing ghost had me wander off.

Also on a purely superficial level, I wondered if the hair stylist for this film either hated both Sebastian Stan and Tom Felton or both actors were shooting something else that required bad hair. I'm convinced either Stan or Felton or both wore a wig for whatever reason in this movie. Or at least I hope that was a wig. Go and Google Image the actors and this film and you'll see what I mean.
aelfgyfu_mead: Winter Soldieraelfgyfu_mead on July 10th, 2014 11:55 pm (UTC)
I laughed out loud reading your thoughts on the movie. Again, thank you for saving me from actually watching the movie, which would have been a mistake.

I just Google Imaged Sebastian Stan and the title. I don't think it's a wig, but it's really a shame to see his hair that way. I think that may actually be worse than his greasy hair as the Winter Soldier. (And yes, it took significantly more time to find an image for my Winter Soldier icon because I had to look for one where his hair wasn't too greasy.) And Tom Felton looks like he has a seriously receding hairline! Why would one do that to one's actors?
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on July 11th, 2014 12:00 am (UTC)
I don't think it's a wig,

That actually makes it worse.

I think that may actually be worse than his greasy hair as the Winter Soldier.

I could accept the hair since that's the Winter Soldier's hair in the comics. Nevermind that it's the most impractical hair for someone whose only function is to fight and kill.

And Tom Felton looks like he has a seriously receding hairline!

Perhaps he and Stan should have swapped hair styles. Bangs might have helped him with the hairline.