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12 May 2015 @ 05:25 pm
Meme (Crack Crossovers Time, Part Quatre)  
I think awanderingbard and I need to join some sort of meme support group:

For a fourth time, these people!
1. Beverly Katz (Hannibal)
2. Angie Martinelli (MCU)
3. Jack Harkness (Torchwood)
4. Bucky Barnes (MCU)
5. Cecil Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale)
6. Joan Watson (Elementary)
7. John Watson (Sherlock)
8. Natasha Romanov (MCU)
9. Maria Stark (MCU)
10. James Bond (Skyfall)
11. Sam Wilson (MCU)
12. Owen Harper (Torchwood)


1) 6 (Joan Watson), 7 (John Watson), and 8 (Natasha Romanov) all go out to dinner, where do they go, what do they eat, and who pays?

Most likely a small but semi-fancy place in New York as I see John being in the Big Apple due to some case with Sherlock. Joan probably has something healthy like fish, John probably something less healthy like a steak. Natasha probably has something straightforward like a pasta dish but will be more excited about the desserts. They all split the check.

2) 12 (Owen Harper) and 9 (Maria Stark) go on a date, where do they go, how does it go?

Well...Season 1 Torchwood Owen and Maria would not get on very well AT ALL. He'd probably take her to a bar for drinks and go straight for putting the moves on her and she'd shut that down fast. In fact, she'd probably call him out for being a complete jerk and depending on what sort of day Owen's had, he might respond with an apology or just leave her there.

3) 4 (Bucky Barnes) and 6 (Joan Watson) have a daughter, what’s her name, what is she like?

Winifred Mary Watson-Barnes. She's a very curious, observant, smart kid who can take care of herself and can be very vocal about her opinions. She feels very loved as she has a huge extended family on both sides. She's learned to stand up for causes, ward off bad pick up lines, knows tons of self-defense moves, and has a very respectable working knowledge of apiology. Her early dating life was a bit of a nightmare because every boy was afraid if he did something even remotely wrong, the fury of all the Avengers would rain down upon them.

4) 2 (Angie Martinelli) has an embarrassing question for 9 (Maria Stark), what is it about?

"I think your husband's passed out on our floor. He's alive, I checked but he's not moving. I think he had a little too much and got confused about which house to go to. I can put him in a cab. Is it normal that he's not wearing any pants?"

5) 4 (Bucky Barnes) and 5 (Cecil Palmer) are arguing, what is it about?

Bucky is arguing for the upteenth time that Svitz, Nulgorsk, Luftnarp, and Franchia are not real European countries. He's been to Europe, both now and decades ago. They don't exist and never existed. Cecil insists he's been there when he backpacked through Europe during his college years. He has stories. He met tons of great people and rolled down a hill. They exist.

6) You ask 7 (John Watson) what the best movie they ever saw was, what is their answer?

Goldfinger. All of the Bond movies are wonderful but this one's a classic. He's made Sherlock watch it and despite him poking holes into the story, it's clear he enjoyed it as well.

7) If 11 (Sam Wilson) was deathly ill, how does 2 (Angie Martinelli) react, what does 11 (Sam Wilson) have to say to 10 (James Bond)?

Angie would be calling for an ambulance ASAP and then possibly Peggy who would in turn contact Howard to speed up treatment for Sam. As he's writhing in pain, Sam would tell Bond this is the last time he has drinks with him and Angie.

8) 10 (James Bond) gets into a fight, where was it, who was it with, and who won?

Um. This is Bond's life so presumably it's with some strangely coiffed would-be world dictator in some booby trapped lair. Bond would win because 007 always wins. OR, he's having a verbal fight with Angie about whether or not it would kill him to do the dishes every once in awhile. Angie would win.

9) Who would make a better teacher, 12 (Owen Harper) or 4 (Bucky Barnes)?

This one's tough. I'll say Owen, but later seasons of Torchwood Owen. He's quite smart and has a natural way of breaking down complicated situations into a simple nutshell so I think his students would appreciate that. Pre-war Bucky may have been a good teacher and I can see him helping out his sisters with homework before the war.

10) 1 (Beverly Katz) and 8 (Natasha Romanov) are on a quest for something, what is it?

Hunting down Hannibal Lecter. I'd love to see Natasha go against him. Not just in terms of fighting but being able to withstand his eerie ability to get inside people's heads.

11) 8 (Natasha Romanov) and 10 (James Bond) have an agreement, who is the brain and who is the brawn? What do they achieve?

This would be an even 50/50 split of brains and brawn for both of them. Both Natasha and Bond are well trained and are very smart. To separate out brains and brawn for them would probably jeapordize the mission, rather than help.

12) 3 (Jack Harkness) must work for 11 (Sam Wilson), what do they have to do?

Help recruit clients for a group therapy meeting at the VA. Since he was in the military (sort of), Jack is assigned to reach out to the local vets to let them know of the services that are being offered at the VA and giving them a combination of the hard and soft sell as many vets are not keen on seeking out counseling despite the need.

13) What can 5 (Cecil Palmer) do to scare 8 (Natasha Romanov)?

This would be difficult. Natasha has nerves of steel and has seen A LOT. Sure, Cecil is weird and can probably do and say things that would freak out most people but Natasha is not most people. Him channeling the Woman from Italy might unnerve her a bit but it wouldn't last long.

14) What would happen in a fan fiction where 9 (Maria Stark) kidnaps 8 (Natasha Romanov), 7 (John Watson) and 4 (Bucky Barnes) team up to get him/her back, and 12 (Owen Harper) has stolen something very precious from 2 (Angie Martinelli)?

The first plot line would actually be a misunderstanding where they thought Maria kidnapped Natasha but really Maria used one of the many planes Howard has to take Natasha somewhere for a brief women-only vacation. Yes, Bucky and John would track them to the Swiss Alps and break down doors, only to find Mari and Natasha playing chess while in their spa robes.

In the second plot line, Owen probably stole from Angie when the two of them were at a bar or something. But later Owen has the bad luck to go to the diner where Angie works and she verbally decimates him to get back her lost property.

15) Who does 8 (Natasha Romanov) choose to help him/her, 2 (Angie Martinelli), 11 (Sam Wilson), or 5 (Cecil Palmer)?

Definitely Sam. They've fought together before and survived so odds are good.

16) 3 (Jack Harkness) has a great idea cheer up 12 (Owen Harper), what is it?

A pep talk about not letting being dead get him down and tons of fun stories from Jack's colorful past. Owen doesn't think any of this is such a great idea.

17) Why is 12 (Owen Harper) mad at 8 (Natasha Romanov)?

Thanks for breaking my other two bloody fingers. They'll never heal, you know.

18) 1 (Beverly Katz) walks in on 3 (Jack Harkness) and 5 (Cecil Palmer) making out, what happens next?

She'd probably take a photo of it with her phone.

19) 5 (Cecil Palmer) needs a place to crash for a few days, who do they stay with 12 (Owen Harper) or 8 (Natasha Romanov)?

He'd probably pick Owen. Owen is a doctor which is very close to being a scientist and it'll be great if Owen could give him some tips on how to talk Science while he's crashing there. Owen would maybe last about a day before wanting to commit murder.

20) If 6 (Joan Watson) had to choose, who would they entrust with their safety, 2(Angie Martinelli), 3 (Jack Harkness) or 4 (Bucky Barnes)?

Are we still in the universe where Joan and Bucky had a daughter? Either way, she'd probably choose him. Angie isn't trained and Jack has too much of a history of getting people under his protection killed.
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The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 12th, 2015 10:16 pm (UTC)
I think awanderingbard and I need to join some sort of meme support group

I found a whole journal full of these...I don't know what to do with this information. It's feel like it's too much power.

Good kid OCing there with Winnifred! I like her. Her knowledge of apiology made me smile. Also her Avengers woes reminds me of something I wrote with Tony's daughter being very reassured during a hypothetical conversation about if anyone could force her to marry a prince she didn't want to marry that, no, the Avengers would be all over stopping that shit.

4 made me a laugh a little, even though in the grand scheme of things, it's not good. Just Angie's delivery is so spot on.

And I like the idea of 14, and adding Peggy and Pepper in there, for a Girls Who Work With Superheroes and Geniuses vacation.

formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 12th, 2015 10:27 pm (UTC)
I found a whole journal full of these...I don't know what to do with this information. It's feel like it's too much power.

I've already planned to do a 5th one so...

Her knowledge of apiology made me smile.

I like the idea of Sherlock showing her the species of bee he created in her mother's name. And he'd teach her lock-picking. Steve can teach her drawing and give her a dog for her birthday.

Also her Avengers woes reminds me of something I wrote with Tony's daughter being very reassured during a hypothetical conversation about if anyone could force her to marry a prince she didn't want to marry that, no, the Avengers would be all over stopping that shit.

I can imagine prom is going to be a nightmare for Winnie. Her date would be so nervous that if she had a bad time, he wouldn't just be letting her down, he'd be letting down America.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 12th, 2015 11:25 pm (UTC)
I've already planned to do a 5th one so...

I am sorry for getting you into this. Rather like with the daemons, I did not know what I would wreak when I began.


I like the idea of Sherlock showing her the species of bee he created in her mother's name. And he'd teach her lock-picking. Steve can teach her drawing and give her a dog for her birthday.


Awww. Fluffy feels. Does Steve just run a home for dogs by this point?


I can imagine prom is going to be a nightmare for Winnie. Her date would be so nervous that if she had a bad time, he wouldn't just be letting her down, he'd be letting down America.


Hahahaha! I can totally see Steve and Bucky getting a huge kick out of going stern 1940s dads on the date, and sitting him down and asking his intentions towards my daughter/for all intents and purposes basically my niece. Steve would be an awesome uncle.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 12th, 2015 11:52 pm (UTC)
Does Steve just run a home for dogs by this point?

That would be nice. I'd like to think that Steve has a family of his own now and runs a shelter while doing some art as a hobby. Both his and Bucky's families can live in Brooklyn since that's where Joan was living with Sherlock.

Steve would be an awesome uncle.

He would be. He'd be the safe uncle and Tony would be the fun uncle. Like, I could see Winnie calling Tony instead of Steve the first time she lies to her parents to sneak out to a party and gets stranded.

Tony: You called the right person. I'll give you a lecture but it'll be soundtracked by these new lasers I made so you can have some fun while being chewed out.
Winnie: I knew I should have called Uncle Sherlock.
Tony: Okay, won't pretend like that didn't hurt. Only going to use one laser now.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 13th, 2015 12:21 am (UTC)
I'd like to think that Steve has a family of his own now and runs a shelter while doing some art as a hobby. Both his and Bucky's families can live in Brooklyn since that's where Joan was living with Sherlock.

Your insistence on making Steve's life happy is adorable. I think I showed you a pin about someone's head canon about Steve's son inheriting his medical problems, and Tony being all 'I can fix him with science!'. I worked a little on that idea, of course, and I gave Steve a nice, quiet bookstore owner to settle down with. Maybe they could live near Bucky and Joan and Winnie could be friends with their son.

lock.
Tony: Okay, won't pretend like that didn't hurt. Only going to use one laser now.<


Hee! Excellent grownupping there, Tony.

Like, I could see Winnie calling Tony instead of Steve the first time she lies to her parents to sneak out to a party and gets stranded

I have a bunny for an older Abby calling Sherlock to get her out of a party she feels is going in a bad direction because she can't get hold of John and Sarah, and Sherlock is basically 'I can tell you've locked yourself in a bathroom, give me the address of the place, I'll be there shortly, do you need me to come in and get you or can you get yourself out? I can probably get you out the window if you'd prefer a more discreet exit'. And Abby is like 'it saves so much time to call Sherlock, you don't even have to tell him anything'.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 13th, 2015 12:58 am (UTC)
Your insistence on making Steve's life happy is adorable.

I hold fast to my No Angst for Steve Rogers motto.

Maybe they could live near Bucky and Joan and Winnie could be friends with their son.

I can't decide if Bucky and Joan are together, though. I don't think they'd be married because Joan more and more is clearly not a marrying type. So maybe they're either living together unmarried or they're not together and share joint custody of Winnie.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 13th, 2015 01:13 am (UTC)
married because Joan more and more is clearly not a marrying type. So maybe they're either living together unmarried or they're not together and share joint custody of Winnie.

Well, that's cool, maybe Bucky has a granny flat in Steve and Nora's brownstone or lives next door and Winnie comes and spends weekends with him.

Tony and Pepper never get married, either. When Pepper gets pregnant, she and Tony have a conversation along the lines of:

Him: Do you want to get married?
Her: No.
Him: Okay, cool.

He puts it to Rhodey has already proving they can do the 'til death do us part thing' and don't need to go around shouting about it.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 13th, 2015 01:32 am (UTC)
Maybe I'll give Bucky someone else to ultimately settle down with and have some more kids as I think he'd like a large family.

I like the idea of Joan having a child but never really ending up with a partner because she just isn't built that way. She's just surrounded by colleagues who are like her family plus her daughter.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 13th, 2015 01:39 am (UTC)
I like how we're talking about this as though it were a thing that exists. But yes, I can see Bucky with a brood of children clomping around the neighbourhood with the Rogers kids (looking after them, of course). And I can see Joan as a quite content single mother.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 13th, 2015 01:50 am (UTC)
I like how we're talking about this as though it were a thing that exists.

Well, MCU doesn't have daemons but that's a bridge we long crossed.

Am I now saying that MCU needs to crossover with Elementary? Dammit...
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 13th, 2015 02:27 am (UTC)
Well, MCU doesn't have daemons but that's a bridge we long crossed.

All right, well, touché.

As long as we're doing this, then, Steve's kid is named Joseph James and he's deaf in one ear, but Uncle Tony made him the most bad ass hearing aid that all the kids are totally jealous of. It's shiny and red, white, and blue metallic painted, and what the heck, it might as well have Internet access, right? That's cool.

Am I now saying that MCU needs to crossover with Elementary? Dammit...

Crossovers are the best-worst thing ever.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 13th, 2015 02:41 am (UTC)
Steve's kid is named Joseph James and he's deaf in one ear, but Uncle Tony made him the most bad ass hearing aid that all the kids are totally jealous of. It's shiny and red, white, and blue metallic painted, and what the heck, it might as well have Internet access, right? That's cool.

Awww! I totally want Joseph James and Winnie to be friends. They totally go to school together. He can have sleepovers with Winnie when she goes over to Joan and Sherlock's place. Sherlock never kid proofs the place but they spend time in Uncle Tony's lab so they know not to touch things. And Sherlock will postpone his more dangerous experiments involving bombs insides freezers.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 13th, 2015 02:53 am (UTC)
Hee! Awww. I bet they 'solve crimes' together, and present the findings to Sherlock, who listens attentively and encourages the development of their investigation techniques.

After school, J.J and Winnie can hang out in Nora's bookshop and do their homework together until Steve or Bucky comes to pick up them up. And every once in a while, Uncle Tony spins by to kidnap them and take them to the toy store where he promises he won't buy them anything, but always does. Don't tell any of your parents, especially the ones who know how to hurt people.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 13th, 2015 03:11 am (UTC)
I bet they 'solve crimes' together, and present the findings to Sherlock, who listens attentively and encourages the development of their investigation techniques.

Sherlock can start training JJ on how to utilize his deafness in one ear to improve his observation through other senses.

I can see Tony and Sherlock going into a subtle competition about who gets to be the cooler uncle. Both are geniuses with almost unlimited wealth. Well, maybe subtle on Sherlock's end. Tony would probably go all out.

take them to the toy store where he promises he won't buy them anything, but always does.

Not only buys them but he probably improves on them.

Don't tell any of your parents, especially the ones who know how to hurt people.

So everyone? Actually, I can see Joan coming over to Stark Tower to lay down some rules about when Winnie stays over. Pepper probably sees Joan as an ally in the whole "Reign in Tony" mission.

Dammit, I already had a crossover going with Elementary and a different show that had Sebastian Stan in the cast. But I can feel this crossover growing. It makes weird sense.

Edited at 2015-05-13 03:15 am (UTC)
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 13th, 2015 03:22 am (UTC)

Sherlock can start training JJ on how to utilize his deafness in one ear to improve his observation through other senses.


Awww. I can see him telling JJ that it's not necessarily a disability, but an advantage because he won't be as distracted with his ears while he's using his eyes.

So everyone?

Everyone except Nora. She's more of a badass bookworm, and the most violent she gets is accosting Time Displaced Super Soldiers who stumble into her shop, because it is vitally important they get on reading all the books they missed while they were asleep for 70 years. Here, tell me what you like and I will find something for you right now, and when you finish it you can come and tell me if you like it and I will find you the next one.

Actually, I can see Joan coming over to Stark Tower to lay down some rules about when Winnie stays over. Pepper probably sees Joan as an ally in the whole "Reign in Tony" mission.

Tony: Okay, okay, stop scolding in stereo! But I'm keeping the ball pit. The mini-Popsicles need a ball pit. That's non-negotiable.

But I can feel this crossover growing. It makes weird sense.

Sorry! A little.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 13th, 2015 03:34 am (UTC)
I can see him telling JJ that it's not necessarily a disability, but an advantage because he won't be as distracted with his ears while he's using his eyes.

Sherlock: Often people who have full use of all their senses grow comfortable. Comfort often makes people lazy. I have a brother who has translated nearly 98% of his comfort to laziness. You, on the other hand, with your own deaf ear have the opportunity of sharpening your other senses. Have you tried lip-reading?
JJ: I learned you can only see about 30% of spoken English on a person's lips.
Sherlock: Correct. But when you integrate other aspects you can observe about the speaker, you can deduce much more of what they are speaking about. Lip-reading along with honed observational skills can increase the 30% to a much more desired 76%.
Winnie: Cool! Can I learn too?
Sherlock: I have a pair of noise cancelling headphones you can use.
JJ: I'm only deaf in one ear.
Sherlock: We can stuff cotton wool in the other.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 13th, 2015 03:46 am (UTC)
Heee! Awww. I can see JJ going home to practice it, and reporting back to Winnie.

JJ: I tried it with Mom and Dad, but all they talked about was boring stuff like how much they love each other and stuff.
Winnie: Gross!
JJ: I know.

As an aside, I bet it's really hard to sneak around when your dads have perfect hearing.

JJ: *takes one step on the stair*
Steve: *calls from halfway across the house* You should be in bed!
JJ: *takes another step*
Steve: Don't pretend you can't hear me! I used to do that. I know you're doing it.
JJ: *takes a step back upstairs*
Steve: And I can hear you and Winnie on your walkie-talkies, tell her to go to sleep, too.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 13th, 2015 03:59 am (UTC)
Heehee! When JJ had his first sleepover at Joan and Sherlock's he were initially excited that they could stay up all night but didn't know then that Sherlock almost never sleeps.

JJ & Winnie: *sneak into the kitchen*
Sherlock: *at table with tweezers and several ice cubes* Watson informed me your bedtime is 9pm.
Winnie: Told you.
JJ: Oh come on!
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 13th, 2015 04:12 am (UTC)
Hee! And then there's the nights at the Tower, when JJ and Winnie get to stay up as long as they want, but J.A.R.V.I.S keeps guilt-tripping them into going to bed.

J.A.R.V.I.S: It's 9PM, my instructions state you should be asleep.
J.A.R.V.I.S: It's 9:40PM. Perhaps you could at least go to your room and get ready for bed.
J.A.R.V.I.S: It's 10:02PM, I really must insist you at least put your pajamas on.
J.A.R.V.I.S: It's 10:20PM. I'm sure your parents would be very disappointed to know you're still awake.
Winnie: Is he going to keep doing that?
Tony: Yep, pretty much. Ignore him, don't let him win.
JJ: Can't you tell him to stop?
Tony: I could, but it's more fun to pretend we can't hear him.
J.A.R.V.I.S: It's 10:40PM. I am shutting off power to the gaming systems.
Tony: Oh, come on!
Bruce: Maybe you should put them to bed, Tony.
Tony: Don't you start!
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 13th, 2015 04:23 am (UTC)
Hahaha!

So this has basically been pieces of a fic where JJ and Winnie just have a bunch of sleepovers everywhere and try to stay up as long as possible.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 13th, 2015 04:33 am (UTC)
It would totally end with them finally succeeding in convincing, say, Bucky, to let them stay up as long as they wanted, and they're both asleep by eleven, passed out on the living room floor.

Bucky: *on phone to Steve* Yeah, they're toast.
Steve: I saw that coming. Maybe they'll learn their lesson.
Bucky: Remember that time we snuck out to Times Square to see the ball drop and we didn't make it back until four AM? We were grounded for a month.
Steve: I think I got pneumonia.
Bucky: You always got pneumonia.
Steve: I remember.
Bucky: I'll keep an eye on them.
Steve: They're seven, Buck, we were way older.
Bucky: Remember what we did at seven?
Steve: Yeah, okay, keep an eye on them.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 13th, 2015 04:43 am (UTC)
Steve: I think I got pneumonia.
Bucky: You always got pneumonia.


Aw, poor Steve.

Well, thanks Meme. You got a fic out of this. Sort of.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 13th, 2015 04:48 am (UTC)
High fives! Unnecessary Crossover #672 completed.