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09 May 2015 @ 10:40 pm
Meme (Crack Crossovers Time)  
I was reminded of this meme by awanderingbard:

Choose 10 characters:
1. Maria Stark (MCU)
2. Joan Watson (Elementary)
3. Bucky Barnes (MCU)
4. Beverly Katz (Hannibal)
5. Angie Martinelli (MCU)
6. Captain Jack Harkness (Torchwood)
7. James Bond (Skyfall)
8. Natasha Romanov (MCU)
9. Cecil Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale)
10. John Watson (Sherlock)


1. Divide the list up by even and odd. Which group of five would make a better Five Man Band (like a Power Rangers team)? Who would you slot in each position: Leader, Lancer (second-in-command), Big Guy, Smart Guy, The Chick? If you think the team would be improved by swapping one character between the even and odd groups, which ones would you switch?

Evens: Joan Watson, Beverly Katz, Captain Jack Harkness, Natasha Romanov, John Watson

Leader: Jack Harkness. Sure, he might get most of his team killed and make some bad choices but he'll own them like a leader.
Lancer: Joan Watson. Because she's the best chance they have in stopping Jack from making said bad choices.
Big Guy: Natasha Romanov. She's been trained to kill since she was three feet tall. She's got this.
Smart Guy: Beverly Katz. She has mad forensic skills and a lot of underutilized computer skills as well.
The Chick: John Watson. He can treat the wounded as they come in and offer a good ear for when people need to talk through their plans.

Odds: Maria Stark, Bucky Barnes, Angie Martinelli, James Bond, Cecil Palmer

Leader: Cecil Palmer. From his radio booth he'll report on things and compell his team to get stuff done.
Lancer: Bucky Barnes. We'll say he's got most of his brain back from HYDRA and be up for this. And actually, being a little off mentally might help him translate some of Cecil's Night Vale-filtered commands which would no doubt sound crazy.
Big Guy: James Bond. Because come on.
Smart Guy: Maria Stark. She'd use her own massive brain for science to out smart any smart guy.
The Chick: Angie Martinelli. Expert at serving coffee, always willing and more than able to lend a hand with her sass and acting skills if bad guys infiltrate home base.

Swappers: I might swap out Jack and Maria. Maria, I think, could be quite a leader if she's had to raise a Stark while being married to a Stark. And Jack having future tech knowledge gives him a scientific edge.

2. Gender-swap 5 (Angie Martinelli), 8 (Natasha Romanov) and 10 (John Watson). Which character would have the most change in their story arc? Which the least? Would any of these characters have to have a complete personality change to be believable as the opposite sex?

Possibly Angie might have a slightly different trajectory in that she most likely would have served in the war. But I can still easily see her working a side job upon her return while trying to make it as an actor. Her interest in Peggy could still be as platonic friends. If the show really wanted to gender swap and keep it simple with NO chance Angie would fall for Peggy romantically, they could make Angie a gay man. That might set up an interesting introduction of another marginalized group during that time period. Natasha's story, as far as I can tell wouldn't change very much at all. The Red Room would just sound a little less innovative. And John Watson, well, we're already seeing the gender swap in someways via Joan. Although it would bother me a lot if female!John was as much of a doormat as male!John but have the added uncomfortable gender dynamic of the subservient female.

3. Compare the matchups of 5 (Angie Martinelli) & 8 (Natasha Romanov) and 2 (Joan Watson) &; 9 (Cecil Palmer). (Ignore canon sexual preferences for the moment.) Which couple would be more compatible? Which couple would be more plausible to people from either principal's home culture?

Angie and Natasha: Oh, I could so see this. Angie would be all on board hearing about Natasha's adventures over coffee and marveling at what she could do. Natasha would find Angie's straightforward, normal take on life refreshing along with her flirty personality.

Joan and Cecil: They might find each other rather interesting at first. Joan, as we've seen, gravitates toward the odd despite her desire to trend toward normal. And Cecil is nothing if not odd. And Joan's partial science background is Cecil's weak spot. However, they come from worlds that are way too different and ultimately it wouldn't work.

4. 7 (James Bond) becomes 5's (Angie Martinelli's) boss for a week in some plausible fashion. How's their working relationship?

I guess Bond is there undercover. Angie would probably admire her hot new boss who seems way too in shape to be the simple manager of a diner. She might be taken in by him for a bit but if his mission lasts long enough, I actually see Angie figuring out he's some sort of spy and maybe hanging around work after the place closes to figure it out.

5. 1 (Maria Stark) finds him/her/itself inserted into 6's (Captain Jack Harkness') continuity. As far as anyone other than 1 or 6 is concerned, they've always been there. What role would 1 be presumed to have had in 6's story, and could they fit in without going wonky?

Maria could totally be part of Torchwood. I can see her doing all sorts of research and study into the new alien lifeforms that are found, essentially taking over the scientist/biologist role that Owen doubled as along with being the Torchwood medic.


6. 3 (Bucky Barnes) and 7 (James Bond) get three wishes. The catch is that they have to agree on all three wishes before they get the benefits of any of them. What three wishes would they make?

1. To be able to always protect the ones they love.
2. Each get to time travel to one specific point in their own timeline to change one event.
3. Talk to their parents one more time.

7. 6 (Jack Harkness) and 3 (Bucky Barnes) are brainwashed by a one-time artifact that works even on people immune to mind control to attack and kill 1 (Maria Stark). They keep their normal personality, skills and competence level, except any Code vs. Killing has been turned off. Can 1 survive? How?

Oh, Bucky. Again? It would be extremely tricky for Maria to avoid two people who are just so good at murder. However, I can see Howard working around the clock to come up with tech to protect Maria and spend whatever money that needs to be spent to marshall all forces at his disposal. As I'm going to assume that Howard would know about the pending assassination, I'll say he has more success in keeping Maria alive than he did in the canon MCU storyline.

8. 1 (Maria Stark), 6 (Jack Harkness), 7 (James Bond) and 9 (Cecil Palmer) must help an orphanage full of small and depressed children have a merry Christmas. Who does what, knowing that at the very least the kids will be expecting a visit from Santa?

Maria would get the funds and buy all the presents. Jack could do the decorations. Bond can have a gruff heart to heart with the orphans about being one himself. And he'd strong arm Q to locating a Santa at the last minute to come. And Cecil could tell everyone a bedtime story with his incredibly soothing voice, thus giving all the kids lovely dreams.

9. Your team is 7 (James Bond), 4 (Beverly Katz) & 9 (Cecil Palmer). The mission consists of a social challenge, a mental challenge and a physical challenge. Which team member do you assign to each challenge?

Huh. Okay, social challenge to Bond as he is a spy after all who is well trained in getting himself into any social situation and blending right in. Beverly for the mental challenge because she's brilliant. And Cecil for the physical challenge. I have no idea what Cecil looks like. He might be tall, he might be short, he might have two arms or not. He might have tentacles, a third eye, wings, the options are endless. But hopefully he's some combination of things that would allow him to do well in this challenge. He did fight off the rabid antiques all by himself so that's a good sign.

10. 3 (Bucky Barnes) and 10 (John Watson) are challenged to circumnavigate the Earth in eighty days or less, using only forms of transportation invented before 1900. Can they do it, or will they be fatally distracted by sidequests or their own personality conflicts?

They could do this. And they'd probably get on quite well, talking about their past lives as soldiers. I can see John cutting Bucky a wide berth in terms of what to talk about in regards to that and maybe lightly putting in here or there that a trip to the Trick Cyclists is sometimes helpful. To be honest, while it's probably within their abilities to do the whole challenge, I can see them both getting bored of this and invite others to come along. John and Mary could have a second honeymoon and Bucky and Steve could finally check out some of the sites around the world they've talked about. In a relaxing way. Not in a kill bad guys and save the world way.
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The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 10th, 2015 03:00 am (UTC)
Angie would probably admire her hot new boss who seems way too in shape to be the simple manager of a diner.

Bond and Angie would have the best flirty dynamic working together. I could see Bond being totally bored trying to run a diner, but endlessly entertained by Angie's chatter and sass. I can also picture Bond fighting off bad guys and telling Angie to run, and ending up with five baddies on the floor, with Angie standing over one of them with a coffee pot in her hand she'd just used to knock the sixth one out.

Angie: What is it about this place that we're always getting picked on?

Number 4 made me awww a lot. Bucky and Bond would be a good team. Very efficient and not inclined to ask questions of the other.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 10th, 2015 03:05 am (UTC)
Angie: What is it about this place that we're always getting picked on?

Hahaha!!

Number 4 made me awww a lot. Bucky and Bond would be a good team. Very efficient and not inclined to ask questions of the other.

They would very efficiently kill things and leave without saying much. I guess that's nice. As long as they're on your side.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 10th, 2015 03:12 am (UTC)
I'm kind of giggling at the idea of Bucky trying to deal with Q, though.

Q: So, you just connect to the WiFi and--
Bucky: WiFi?
Q: Oh God, not again. I refuse to explain common modern conveniences to you. Being frozen and brainwashed is no excuse for this sort of ignorance.
Bucky: *metal arm fist*
Q: I can completely disable that limb with a EMP pulse, don't even start.

formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 10th, 2015 03:17 am (UTC)
Q: So, you just connect to the WiFi and--
Bucky: WiFi?
Q: Oh God, not again.


Heeeheee!!

Although, I was trying to figure out if Bucky's knowledge of modern tech would be better or worse than Steve's. Steve slept through it all so he had some stuff to catch up on but he got to do it and also keep his memories of all the new knowledge. Would Hydra have kept Bucky unfrozen enough times over the years so that he sort of got to see the tech evolve? Would he remember any of the tech? It would be somewhat to Hydra's advantage to not have someone be so clueless about tech but then the brainwashing bit would get tricky.

Well, now I'm just talking in circles. Either way, even if Bucky knows about cell phones, he probably wouldn't have learned anything about Wifi.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 10th, 2015 03:26 am (UTC)
My thoughts on it are that they just kind of gave Bucky stuff and showed him how to use it if needed, but he didn't understand how any of it worked exactly, or what it was. So, once the brainwashing was gone, I'm guessing he had some sort of muscle memory of 'this is a thing to talk to people, I use it like this' but not necessarily thinking of it in terms of 'this is a cell phone, it has 4G and internet capabilities, I can take photos and videos on it'. It's just sort of another weapon.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 10th, 2015 03:31 am (UTC)
I use it like this' but not necessarily thinking of it in terms of 'this is a cell phone, it has 4G and internet capabilities, I can take photos and videos on it'. It's just sort of another weapon.

I feel like there's some cracky conversation to be had about all the random household objects Bucky has used over the years as weapons because that's how they were presented to him by Hydra.

Bond: I once killed a man using an electric whisk.
Bucky: Wait, that's not what it's for?

Edited at 2015-05-10 03:31 am (UTC)
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 10th, 2015 03:46 am (UTC)
Q: I swear to God, if either of you use my electric kettle as a weapon again, I will end you.
Bucky: Does he mean the blunt instrument with the water in it?

I kind of feel like, with both Steve and Bucky, that it would be much harder for them to adapt to technology that has improved since their own time than entirely new technology. There would be a confidence that you knew how it worked that would give you a false sense of security.

Steve: *struggles to figure out how to use a ball point pen*
Bucky: *casually streams movies on Netflix*
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 10th, 2015 03:50 am (UTC)
There would be a confidence that you knew how it worked that would give you a false sense of security.

Yes! I very much feel like they would excel at learning how to use things like iPads (Starkpads) but pens it's like the convenience of their design now makes it a stumbling block.

Q: I swear to God, if either of you use my electric kettle as a weapon again, I will end you.
Bucky: Does he mean the blunt instrument with the water in it?


Bond: The scalding water bomb, yes.
Q: It's not a bomb!
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 10th, 2015 04:01 am (UTC)

Yes! I very much feel like they would excel at learning how to use things like iPads (Starkpads) but pens it's like the convenience of their design now makes it a stumbling block.


I still need to write that fic about Steve's dislike of automatic doors.

Whenever I write from Issie's POV, I have her use less exact wording and be more wary of technology than Steve, because I feel like she's a little more weirded out than him by it all.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 10th, 2015 04:05 am (UTC)
Whenever I write from Issie's POV, I have her use less exact wording and be more wary of technology than Steve, because I feel like she's a little more weirded out than him by it all.

Oh, interesting! I have it flipped for Shess and Bucky. Despite science doing some bad things to them, Shess will still poke at various gadgets with some interest.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 10th, 2015 04:10 am (UTC)
I think of Steve as having an Old Soul, which Issie reflects. Steve is functioning okay in the Future, but Issie is still unsure of herself.

But I think, even back in the day, Bucky was pretty interested in the future and what Howard was up to, so it makes sense that Shess is more curious than Issie is.

formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 10th, 2015 04:14 am (UTC)
I think of Steve as having an Old Soul, which Issie reflects. Steve is functioning okay in the Future, but Issie is still unsure of herself.

I liked all the little details of Steve's home that showed you what time period he's from.

But I think, even back in the day, Bucky was pretty interested in the future and what Howard was up to, so it makes sense that Shess is more curious than Issie is.

Yeah, this was sort of the main content of that still not finished fic where Howard and Bucky have a chat in the daemon verse.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 10th, 2015 04:28 am (UTC)
I liked all the little details of Steve's home that showed you what time period he's from.

I think it must be a fun job to do set decorating for characters. I know I love doing it for my character houses that I do sometimes. Those little details tickle me a lot.

Speaking of Steve's home, there is a very interesting post on tumblr about the apartment he was living in at the time his mother died here.

It gave me some headcanon about where Howard might have lived, especially the bathtub-come-kitchen-table I mentioned in my last fic.
formerly lifeinsomniacjoonscribble on May 10th, 2015 02:42 pm (UTC)
Speaking of Steve's home, there is a very interesting post on tumblr about the apartment he was living in at the time his mother died here.

Cool post! It also reminded me of how many of these tenement style apartments still exist in NY. Sure, there have been some renovations but I know many people who have apartments with one characteristic of these kinds of places (e.g. bathtub in the kitchen; garbage chute window).

If Steve didn't live alone and he didn't live with Bucky (which I don't think he did), I wonder who his roommates would have been. I like to believe Steve had other friends, even though we don't see them in the first Cap movie. And I've 100% headcanoned that Bucky lived with his family until he shipped out as that makes the most financial sense.
The Writer They Call Tayawanderingbard on May 10th, 2015 02:50 pm (UTC)

If Steve didn't live alone and he didn't live with Bucky (which I don't think he did), I wonder who his roommates would have been.


Maybe art school friends? Or kids they grew up with in the neighbourhood. I picture Steve and Bucky having a ragamuffin gang they ran around with as kids, with Steve lagging behind but Bucky making sure he was never left out of anything.

And I've 100% headcanoned that Bucky lived with his family until he shipped out as that makes the most financial sense.

I have it in my head that Bucky and Rebecca had to share a bedroom, with a kind of privacy curtain down the middle of it, because it wasn't feasible for Bucky to have his own room while they stuffed three girls in another. Either that, or all four kids slept in one room, but either way, he was totally used to being in a room with girl things.